Call it middle age, perhaps, or a consequence of lockdown screwing with my head as it does with everyone in different ways, but I have a frequent compulsion at the moment to reminisce. You can hear the children’s groans for a good five-mile radius.
It could be caused by the fact that I have barely seen my parents or brother in a year. I haven’t seen my grandma in well over that time, and her dementia has advanced to the point that reminiscing is pretty much the only way I can talk to her, about anything and everything from my childhood, my dad’s childhood but most of all her own childhood that she might remember.
It could also be caused by the fact that every app I use seems determined to get me daydreaming about the good old days. Facebook, Timehop, Twitter, the Photos app on my Mac. That one doesn’t even have to be open, I just get a ping and boom! on this day five years ago I was at a family meal or out shopping or doing something generally more interesting. Cheers, Mac.
So with this in mind, and also the fact that this is my blog which I can use however I wish, since I’m not particularly themed and not monetising, I’ve decided to start a new section of blog posts to capture those memories. Think of it as therapy for my kids: if I’m venting here, it gives them some relief from the torturous, never-ending stream of consciousness as I remember various rituals, meetings, and milestones. There will be three main categories: Family – obviously. Memories of my childhood, my family in Ireland and my grandparents in London and Durham. Love – meeting my husband and our life together. And finally, Music – because music has been one of my biggest triggers lately. Particularly with musicals, as we introduce our favourites to our children now that they have the attention span to actually appreciate them, certain songs are so strongly associated with specific memories (sometimes multiple memories) that the moment they start, I’m taken back to an increasingly distant yet no less vivid point in time.
I expect that most of these will be written on my phone and uploaded with minimal imagery or checking – this is totally for me. And perhaps one day my grandchildren will figuratively dust off the posts, and they’ll be have something to talk about with the old lady whose memories have long faded.